What I'm Doing Instead of Mindless Scrolling

It still includes some mindless scrolling, TBH

Here's a quick brain dump about my social media break and general phone boundaries.

A dog is the best alternative to social media

As you may have read in my book, I was chronically online while deep in an MLM and still very online during COVID. Over the past four years, I’ve been less so, but the phone is still taking up more space in my brain than I’d like. I thought I’d give you a peek at my day and how the phone fits into it.

This isn’t meant to be prescriptive, though if it helps you, great. Keep in mind that I don’t have a job that requires me to leave the house, and all my kids are over twelve, so your mileage may vary.

I’m a big believer in not keeping my phone by my bed. When you wake up to a glowing rectangle in your face, you’re putting everyone else’s day in front of yours. If you do this, I strongly encourage you to quit the habit. Get an alarm clock instead of using your phone alarm. Put your phone somewhere where you’ll hear it in an emergency (though we know that’s why you’re not keeping it in your bedroom; come on). I am telling you if you want to reduce your anxiety, screen time, and mindless scroll and be more present, that one thing will help.

*off soapbox*

I’m generally the first person up in the morning, so after I get coffee, feed the dog, empty the dishwasher, etc., I head into my office and open my computer, not my phone. I start with my email and look for significant things, such as emails from the school, teachers, check-in for a medical appointment, after-school activities, and anything I need to do now. I also unsubscribe from anything I don’t want. My inbox is pretty pared down at this point, but something always sneaks its way in.

Depending on the time, if the kids still aren’t up, I MIGHT check my phone at that point. If there aren’t any text alerts or phone calls on the notifications center that I need to attend to immediately, I don’t unlock it. Otherwise, I know I’ll get lost in it. Without an Instagram or Facebook icon to click (I know this is profound), I don’t.

By then, the kids are up, and I try to interact with them as much as they let me (remember, all teenagers). My youngest is on a waffle kick right now, so I usually make a batch of those, take him to school, come home, and THEN…then I open my phone.

If you’re keeping track, my whole morning is (mostly) free from my phone screen, save from returning an urgent call or text, which is pretty rare.

When I’m working (writing), I adjust my focus settings so that the only people who can contact me are family members. And when I‘m out and about, I try to keep my phone in my purse so I’m not glued to it. In the evening, I usually read a book or watch a show (on the actual TV) and keep my phone in my office. If it’s not with me, it’s a bit out of sight, out of mind.

And guess what? So far, I haven’t (not once, not ever) missed anything.

So, what am I using my phone for? I’m glad you asked:

NYT GAMES

Holy shit. This is my new Instagram. I never did these because I didn’t think I had time, well lo and behold without Instagram, I’m a gamer. Wordle, connections, the mini, and strands. I open one of these when I need a break during the day. They work my brain and are self-limiting; when the game is over, I take my dopamine hit back to whatever else I need to do.

NEWS

Right now, I have no news apps on my phone. I just can’t. So I check in once a day here with Emily in Your Phone and Jessica Yellin. It’s distilled to what I can handle because I can’t take the continuous onslaught from traditional media at the moment. And that brings me to:

SUBSTACK

If I’m mindlessly scrolling anything, it’s this app. However, I give myself a 30-minute time limit on my phone (screen time settings) and only use it on my computer if I’m composing something (like right now). While I do enjoy Substack, the “notes” feature (or the main feed? The scroll? Home? What do we all call this?) draws so many comparisons to features of Instagram/TikTok that I hated: being served up content that I didn’t ask for, rage/clickbait, videos, though I find much less of it here, for now.

Coming from a platform where I had 100K+ followers to a platform where I’m a nobody is weird but good. The pressure is off, and I kinda dig it.

xoxo Emily